Do you ever have those days when you feel entirely in your own head, and unable to get out?
It’s 09:59 and in my hazed state I’m up, dressed and sat at the university Macs scribbling on illustrator. But nothing feels right or seems to make any sense. I could swear I was dreaming but I’m not (at least I don’t think I am).
I set my alarm way too early this morning, and still panicked when I woke up, certain I wouldn’t make it out on time for my train – my head has been up my arse lately. I did have enough time, I was 2 hours early for my lecture. Usually I wouldn’t mind, I love being early, there is no time like the morning to get all those odd jobs done that seem unimportant by afternoon and that you’re kicking yourself for not doing come evening.
But I came out without my sketchbook for the first time in a month today so I can’t spend this time collecting feedback. I’m using a new phone that I can’t figure out; I have no access to my contacts or social medias and honestly, I never thought the day would come but I’m finally prepared to admit that I am – I must be – only slightly, addicted to them because I’m having withdrawals. My tired mind keeps flipping to the photograph of a pair of custom monogrammed loafers by Lord Loafers that I couldn’t wait to share on Instagram this morning. And I missed my 140 character commuter rant on the train.
I’m feeling pretty useless, and I know myself well enough to know this is probably the feeling that I’ll keep today. And how lovely would it be to instead, be curled around a pillow in bed touching stars and dreaming a new dream?