I want to be completely honest with you, because it’s been so long since I’ve written a post but here you all are, still.
For too long I was stuck, I had forgotten how to use my feet and my voice. Simply, I was unhappy.
I graduated from uni and found myself comfortable in a day job, but with this gnawing feeling that it was time to move and a fear in me that wouldn’t let me. I had waded through wave after wave of negativity and painful situations and shut down the part of myself that was capable of accepting happiness and love and friendship. It felt like a requirement if I was to get through it all in one piece, but eventually the lack of these fundamentals became the biggest part of me.
Well, I’ve made it to the other side of that. And I’m here to tell you that the biggest changes happen when you let them. I can tell you with complete arrogance, I am the happiest I have ever been and finally, finally I am moving. I’m achieving, setting goals – something I was too afraid to do a year ago because my own self doubt told me I’d fail before I’d even planned it on paper, I’m being pro-active. Maybe most importantly I’m enjoying the ‘right now’. Enjoying waking up with my best friend and going to sleep next to him. Enjoying being a step momma and all the things that entails. Enjoying going to work to do something I’m passionate about. Enjoying writing a post. Enjoying all of the possibilities.
Yes, things have certainly changed. My days now have become a messy mix of marketing and social media and counting toys during tidy up and washing what feels like hundreds of tiny t-shirts and picking up every children’s book I see in every store, in between down time and date nights with Bear, this incredible man that I’ve walked beside physically and spiritually for more than half of my life.
It feels a little bit like, this version of me was always here, the me that I was at 16 when everything felt possible, but she was in another room and after waiting a decade to meet her again, somebody finally opened the door. I feel like me again.
So, just a little note to say Thank You for sticking around. Expect plenty of crazy in the months to come.